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Or, is your relationship based on power and control? Physical and sexual assaults, or threats to commit them, are the most apparent forms of domestic violence and are usually the actions that allow others to become aware of the problem. However, regular use of other abusive behaviors by the batterer, when reinforced by one or more acts of physical violence, make up a larger system of buse. Although physical assaults may occur only once or occasionally, they instill threat of future violent attacks and allow the abuser to take control of the woman's life and circumstances. The Power & Control diagram is a particularly helpful tool in understanding the overall pattern of abusive and violent behaviors, which are used by a batterer to establish and maintain control over his partner. Very often, one or more violent incidents are accompanied by an array of these other types of abuse. They are less easily identified, yet firmly establish a pattern of intimidation and control in the relationship. Power & Control INTIMIDATION EMOTIONAL ABUSE ISOLATION MINIMIZING, DENYING, & BLAMING USING CHILDREN ECONOMIC ABUSE MALE PRIVILEGE COERCION & THREATS Making and/or carrying out threats to do something to hurt her Threatening to commit suicide or report her to welfare Making her drop charges Making her do illegal thingsMaking her afraid by using looks, actions, and gestures Smashing thingsDestroying her property Abusing pets D isplaying weaponsPutting her down M aking her feel bad about herselfCalling her names Making her think she's crazy Playing mind games Humiliating her Making her feel guilty Controlling what she does, who she sees and talks to, what she reads and where she goes Limiting her outside involvement Using jealousy to justify actions Making light of the abuse and not taking her concerns about it seriously Saying the abuse didn't happen Shifting responsibility for abusive behavior Saying she caused itMaking her feel guilty about the children by telling her she is a bad parent or by telling her the children need a two-parent home T hreatening to hurt the childrenUsing the children to relay messages Using visitation to harass her Threatening to take the children awayPreventing her from getting or keeping a job M aking her ask for moneyGiving her an allowance T aking her moneyNot letting her know about or have access to family income Treating her like a servant Making all the big decisions Acting like the "master of the castle" Being the one to define men's and women's roles
Domestic Abuse Intervention Project V 202 East Superior Street V Duluth, Minnesota 55802 V 218/722-4134Adapted by T EXAS COUNCIL ON FAMILY VIOLENCEP.O. Box 161810 V Austin, Texas 78716 V 512/794-1133 V Fax: 512/794-1199
Do you have questions about our site, comments about our site or just need support? by writing to us at: Serenity Quest - P.O. Box 2332 - West Covina, CA 91793-2332
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