Physical and sexual assaults, or threats to commit them, are the most apparent forms of domestic violence and are usually the actions that allow others to become aware of the problem. However, regular use of other abusive behaviors by the batterer, when reinforced by one or more acts of physical violence, make up a larger system of buse. Although physical assaults may occur only once or occasionally, they instill threat of future violent attacks and allow the abuser to take control of the woman's life and circumstances.
The Power & Control diagram is a particularly helpful tool in understanding the overall pattern of abusive and violent behaviors, which are used by a batterer to establish and maintain control over his partner. Very often, one or more violent incidents are accompanied by an array of these other types of abuse. They are less easily identified, yet firmly establish a pattern of intimidation and control in the relationship.
Power & Control
INTIMIDATION
EMOTIONAL ABUSE
ISOLATION
MINIMIZING, DENYING, & BLAMING
USING CHILDREN
ECONOMIC ABUSE
MALE PRIVILEGE
COERCION & THREATS
Making and/or carrying out threats to do something to hurt her
Threatening to commit suicide or report her to welfare
Making her drop charges
Making her do illegal things
Making her afraid by using looks, actions, and gestures
Smashing things
Destroying her property
Abusing pets
D
isplaying weapons
Putting her down
M
aking her feel bad about herself
Calling her names
Making her think she's crazy
Playing mind games
Humiliating her
Making her feel guilty
Controlling what she does, who she sees and talks to, what she reads and
where she goes
Limiting her outside involvement
Using jealousy to justify actions
Making light of the abuse and not taking her concerns about it seriously
Saying the abuse didn't happen
Shifting responsibility for abusive behavior
Saying she caused it
Making her feel guilty about the children by telling her she is a bad parent or by telling her the children need a two-parent home
T
hreatening to hurt the children
Using the children to relay messages
Using visitation to harass her
Threatening to take the children away
Preventing her from getting or keeping a job
M
aking her ask for money
Giving her an allowance
T
aking her money
Not letting her know about or have access to family income
Treating her like a servant
Making all the big decisions
Acting like the "master of the castle"
Being the one to define men's and women's roles
Domestic Abuse Intervention Project
V 202 East Superior Street V Duluth, Minnesota 55802 V 218/722-4134
Adapted by
T
EXAS COUNCIL ON FAMILY VIOLENCE
P.O. Box 161810
V Austin, Texas 78716 V 512/794-1133 V Fax: 512/794-1199
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