|
 Love
Love is not consolation, it is light.~
Simone Weil
I have never helped anyone by being critical,
Nor has anyone ever helped me by being critical!
~Francis Frangipane
"17 Ways to Make Your Relationships Great in 2008" pt. 2
by Susie and Otto Collins
In our most recent survey about relationships,
someone asked us the question (and we
thought it was a good one)--
"How do you create a great relationship that
really lasts in today's world of throwaway'
relationships and $99 divorces?"
Whew!
We wanted to say to this person...
Hold on a minute. Yes there are many more
break ups than there used to be many years
ago but in our opinion, there's also more joy,
possibilities and connection.
As always, we want to do our part in giving you
the relationship help and ideas you need to
create a great relationship filled with lots of
love, passion and connection.
In last week's newsletter, we gave you 5 of the
17 ways to make your relationship great in 2008.
In this series of articles, we're giving you some
ideas and an invitation to create some relationship
goals for the coming year that will bring you closer
to what you want for your life.
We know that writing relationship goals may not
be at the top of your list of things to do right now,
but whether you're single or with a partner, we
urge you to spend just a few minutes thinking
about what you would like more of in your
relationships.
Then consider our "17 ways" that you could put
into action in your life.
2008 can be your best year yet and we're
offering some ways to help you manifest that
for yourself.
Here are a few more ways that have worked
for us to keep our relationship close, connected
and growing--and we offer them to you...
1. Decide to heal your past--or the parts that are
constantly in your face.
If you're like most people, you carry your past
around with you everywhere. Now the past
doesn't always get in the way of what we
want but sometimes it does.
Take Sam...He just couldn't let go of his
first marriage and first wife. He wanted
her understanding and forgiveness
because he left their marriage. He
wanted her to tell him that she knew
why he left and that she played a
part in his leaving.
But she never did...And he could
never let go so every new relationship
he tried failed.
Healing for Sam would be to begin
to let go of his desire that his ex act
in a certain way and his need to keep
living in the past.
He needs to quit judging her as he
perceives she's judging him. He can
begin by staying in his present and
looking toward his future.
What is it in your past that you could
begin to look at and heal that you've
been carrying around with you that
no longer serves you?
2. Recommit to your relationship.
Recommitting to a relationship--
whether it's a relationship with your
significant other, your child, or
yourself--means looking at that
relationship with fresh eyes and
making the decision that this
relationship is important to you.
It might mean spending more time
together. It might mean focusing
more attention on that relationship,
making it a higher priority in your
life.
If you are recommitting to yourself,
you can spend more time pampering
yourself in whatever way that feels
good to you.
If you are recommitting to a partner,
you can find time each day to focus
on and love each other.
How can you either recommit to
yourself or to your partner and what
might that look like?
3. Learn some new relationship skills.
The two of us are constantly learning
about how to have great relationships
and if you're reading this right now, you
know that we share these ideas with
you in this newsletter. Many people
tell us that they use our newsletters
as a jumping off point for discussions
with their partners or friends.
We invite you to do the same.
In whatever area that you would like to
improve--whether it's to put more spark
back in your relationship, communicate
better, or find a partner who you truly
want to be with--choose to learn some
new things that will help move you closer
to what you want.
What new relationship skills will help
bring you closer to having what you
want?
4. Meditate, pray, connect deeper to
your spiritual center and Source, God,
Creator--whatever name feels right to
you.
Why would connecting deeper to your
spiritual center and with God help you
create great relationships?
We can speak from our experience.
When we take time each day to pray
and meditate, that is a time of
relaxation and self-reflection. We
can just feel what we've been holding
on to all day just melt away. Sometimes
we even get a big "ah ha" about how
an interaction could have gone better
or how our reaction could have closed
the other person to us--how we could
have loved more.
Now this meditation or pray time doesn't
mean you have to sit still for a certain
amount of time. Susie "sits" for meditation
every day but Otto chooses to meditate
during what he calls his "quiet, alone
time" and that usually involves taking
a walk by himself.
Whatever way fits you, we invite you to
begin a meditation/pray/quiet time practice
every day. Start with 10 minutes and you'll
see the big changes that are in store for
you and your relationships.
http://www.PassionateHeart.com
http://www.SusieandOtto.com
http://www.RelationshipGold.com
Love yourself
"It's surprising how many persons go through life without ever recognizing that their feelings toward other people are largely determined by their feelings toward themselves, and if you're not comfortable within yourself, you can't be comfortable with others."
-- Sydney J. Harris
"We have the need to be accepted and to be loved by others, but we cannot accept and love ourselves. The more self-love we have, the less we will experience self-abuse. Self-abuse comes from self-rejection, and self-rejection comes from having an image of what it means to be perfect and never measuring up to that ideal. Our image of perfection is the reason we reject ourselves the way we are, and why we don't accept others the way they are."
-- Don Miguel Ruiz
"There is no freedom like seeing myself as I am and not losing heart."
-- Elizabeth J. Canham
"If we could learn to like ourselves, even a little, maybe our cruelties and angers might melt away."
-- John Steinbeck
ONE. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.
TWO. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.
THREE. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.
FOUR. When you say, 'I love you,' mean it.
FIVE. When you say, 'I'm sorry,' look the person in the eye.
SIX. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.
SEVEN. Believe in love at first sight.
EIGHT. Never laugh at anyone's dreams. People who don't have dreams don't have much.
NINE. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.
TEN.. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.
ELEVEN. Don't judge people by their relatives.
TWELVE. Talk slowly but think quickly.
THIRTEEN! .. When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, 'Why do you want to know?'
FOURTEEN. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
FIFTEEN. Say 'bless you' when you hear someone sneeze.
SIXTEEN. When you lose, don't lose the lesson.
SEVENTEEN. Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; and Responsibility for all your actions.
EIGHTEEN. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
NINETEEN. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
TWENTY. Smile when picking up the phone.The caller will hear it in your voice.
TWENTY- ONE. Spend some time alone .
The Rose
By Amanda McBrooom
Some say love, it is a river
that drowns the tender reed.
Some say love, it is a razor
that leaves your soul to bleed.
Some say love, it is a hunger,
an endless aching need.
I say love, it is a flower,
and you it's only seed.
It's the heart afraid of breaking
that never learns to dance.
It's the dream afraid of waking
that never takes the chance.
It's the one who won't be taken,
who cannot seem to give,
and the sould afraid of dyin'
that never learns to live.
When the night has been too lonely
and the road has been to long,
and you think that love is only
for the lucky and the strong,
just remember in the winter
far beneath the winter snows
lies the seed that with the sun's love
in the spring becomes the rose.
Love is not what you make of it, but what it makes of you. Unknown
If you haven't seen this, it is nice.
If you have, it's still nice!
Slow down for three minutes to read this. It is so worth it. Touching words from the mouth of babes. A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, "What does love mean?" The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined. See what you think:
What does Love mean?
"When my grandmother her got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore.
So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love."
Rebecca- age 8
__
"When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth."
Billy - age 4 (I love this one)
_____
"Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other."
Karl - age 5
____
"Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs."
Chrissy - age 6
___
"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired."
Terri - age 4
_____
"Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK."
Danny - age 7
_____
"Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss"
Emily - age 8
_____
"Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen."
Bobby - age 7 (Wow!)
_____
"If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate,"
Nikka - age 6 (we need a few million more Nikka's on this planet)
_____
"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday."
Noelle - age 7
_____
"Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well."
Tommy - age 6
_____
"Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken."
Elaine age 5
____
"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford."
Chris - age 7
_____
"Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day."
Mary Ann - age 4
_____
"I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones."
Lauren - age 4
_____
"When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you." (What an image)
Karen - age 7
_____
"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross."
Mark - age 6
_____
"You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget."
Jessica - age 8
_____
And the final one -- Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once talked about a contest he was asked to judge. The purpose of the contest was to find the most caring child. The winner was a four-year-old child whose next-door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife.
Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there.
When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said, "Nothing, I just helped him cry"
|
